I've been training for about 3 years
now. Well, that's 3 years with a few breaks thrown in here and there.
I don't compete much, in fact I've only won one match in competition.
My training has been inconsistent at best for the past 2 months. So
why did I get a belt promotion? I honestly don't get it.
Receiving a purple belt with Professor Casey, Professor Lorenzo, and Professor Caveirinha |
After thinking about it for a week or
so, I realized that I have a hard time grasping that I could actually
be deserving of a purple belt because I still feel new to jiu-jitsu
and I remember how I looked at purple belts when I first got started.
When I first began training there weren't any purple belts. Maybe one
or two would drop by now and then but there just weren't that many.
When one would come by there'd be a silent admiration among all us
newbie white belts. The skill they displayed was so smooth and
seemingly effortless. Getting there seemed so far away.
When I got a blue belt there was a
sense of validation. Sort of like, I've put in the time, paid the
dues, endured the sores and bruises enough to be recognized as a
legitimate part of jiu-jitsu. It didn't necessarily feel like I was a
certain skill level, but more like I had reached a point where I was
no longer starting out. I was part of the sport, part of the art.
The purple seems to carry a certain
weight of expectation, the way I see it. I am still a part of the
sport. But now I should be contributing to the art. I should be more
than just a spectator. There might even be a white belt watching me
the way I watched purple belts a few years ago. And to me, that's
weird. I don't feel like I'm that good. There are so many others at
CJJF that are much more skilled that I am. Like some of the same
people I watched and admired when I was starting out. We still train
together. And I still think I'm far away from being as skilled as
they are. But I guess that's the point really. We all get better with
time, work, and good teammates.
I guess the best way I can put it is
that the purple belt feels sort of like being brought from the
second-string into the starting lineup. There's a bit of a spotlight
on you. An expectation to perform at a certain level. A certain level
of responsibility to be a role model to those just starting out. And
it's surprising that Professor Caveirinha feels I'm deserving of
that. Nonetheless, I'm grateful and thankful to be part of jiu-jitsu
and CJJF.
Congrats to everybody at CJJF |
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